Barstool Ombudsman Column- What's The Deal With All The Naked Women?

PFT Commenter 5/6/2016 4:43 PM

Welcome back to the weekly ombudsman column where I take your questions, comments and concerns about the site. Finally someone asked me a tough question this week about how come there’s so much T & A on Barstool. Its a common refrain you hear from alot of Barstool’s detractors but I’m glad I finally get to address it here.

As always, direct your own queries to BarstoolOmbudsman@Gmail.com and I will try to answer them in next weeks column.

What’s with all the softcore porn on this barstool website… If I wanted to satisfy my thirst for porn I’d just go to the other 99% of the internet websites out there like japanese-butt-gummybears.biz, bukkake-emporium.co.uk, jizzfountain.gov, etc. Also the porn isn’t even really disgusting so like whats the point? I just want some takes while I’m at work without my boss by and thinking I spend ALL my time JOing.
Thanks,
Eric

Hey Eric, first of all let me just say thank you for your service. This question is kind of what I had in mind for the Ombudsman column- newcomers get their outsider questions answered, and the Barstool loyalists get their insider questions answered.

The reason for the softcore is because Barstool strives to have a active, moderatley horny audience. Studies show that the human mind retains up to 50% more information thats being presented if the subject thinks there’s a chance they might get laid afterwards. Hence if we want you to learn anything from Riggs’ blog regarding whether or not Pakistani intelligence poisoned the US CIA Station chief, your going to have to wade through a Korengal-sized valley of cleavage to get there.

I would actually be interested to see how much traffic Barstool pulls in from people who have just JOd as oppose to those who are about to start JingO right afterwards. Most sports blogs traditionally hover somewhere around the 50/50 ratio, but I think our site is more on the 75% pre-JO demographic which is done intentonally in order to nurture a more engaged audience. If Dave was as big a mogul as he says he is he would of negotiated a referral bonus from pornhub a long time ago. Oh wait there’s literally a pornhub referral link like two blogs ago.

But honestly, an elegant solution to this would be for us to be so good with our takes that you should be able to JO and get your reading fix at the same time from the very same blog- it shouldn’t have to be a either/or situation. Its like a good movie will make you laugh and cry so you don’t need to go to see both a tradgedy and a comedy in the same weekend.

Suh Dude -
How is nobody talking about the potential that Bruce Jenner did so many steroids during his training to be the world’s best decathlete
-First Time Long Time

There are only a few huge steroid scandals per generation that could be broken and if Jenner had juiced up back in the 70s that would be a massive one. Basically the only people that would shock anyone anymore are Ripken, Tebow, and Jordan and I’m about a gnats eyelash away from pointing the finger right at them. We like to be ahead of the times when it comes to lobbing unfounded steroid accusations at people but I’ll put our hand up and say we missed the Jenner story by about 40 years. What a roller coaster Caityln’s lived through, huh? Dsylexia, ACL surgery, Illegal testosterone, gold medals, the OJ trial, legal estrogen, nude cover of Sports Illustrated. Say what you want about Caitlyn Jenner but I doubt there is anything unchecked on her bucket list. You talk about a life lived to the fullest.

Here’s my promise to you- we’re going to ramp up the steroid allegatons around here. No more free passes. Looking in your direction, Jesus and Achilles.

Mr. Ombudsman Sir/Ma’am:
Never been able to post [comments]…and your answer is basically ‘you were blocked for no good reason and we can’t fix it’. What kind of BS answer is it that your technology isn’t current enough to unblock those who didn’t deserve blocking when they tell you they are blocked?
Lame. Many thoughts, zingers, one liners lost (I have to assume he and I are not alone) thereby diluting, minimizing participation and interaction….and interest with Barstool.
-Ken

Yes my answer is basically “we can’t fix it.” I don’t think you appreciate how antquated our technology is here, but that’s part of the barstool charm. We basically have to will each blog to get published out of pure grit and sticktoitiveness. But I did research the issue a little bit more and I’m told 99% of aspiring Commenters have no problem setting up and accessing a account until they say offensive enough to get banned, but for the 1% who never get to there’s nothing we can do yet. Literally the only way we would have to fix this issue would be for Dave to send Hank into the server room with a miners hat and a screwdriver and hope for the best. When the site starts to get updated by Chernin everything should be fixed but in the meantime Ken, I have a comprimise. You can just email your comments to BarstoolOmbudsman@gmail.com and I will publish them here if they are any good and we’ll let the readers decide on your talent. Hows that for interaction.

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